Can we talk of Gender Mental Health nowadays? Are there differences between men and women that go to a psychologist/therapist/psycho-therapist?

As society continues to advance, women are becoming increasingly more vocal about the ways in which being a woman, or how their experiences as women have affected their mental health. As a result, I think there has been a lot more dialogue around gender differences in experiences of mental health and more people are open to talking about this. More generally, men and women who go to therapy and apply what they have learnt in therapy, are much better at regulating their emotions, prioritising themselves and their needs, and are more reflective about themselves, their lives and their experiences. They have more of an internal dialogue and are able to ‘step outside themselves’ and reflect on their behaviour and how they are affected by the behaviour of others. Compared to those who do not have access to, or who have not been equipped with the relevant tools that would enable them to adopt these same practices.

Seeking mental health has been a taboo for many years, considering anyone who goes to a psychologist as a “crazy” person. Is there still a stigma about mental health and what are women opinions about it?

Within some communities, there is still a taboo around seeking treatment for your mental health. In Western societies in particular, there has been a shift towards seeking help and support for managing your mental health (whether formally or informally). The amount of stigma one may face regarding mental illness, may be moderated by other factors, e.g. income, age, religion and severity of mental health issues. Women tend to face less stigma for accessing treatment for their mental health, and often seem less judgmental about other women seeking treatment. This differs across cultures though, and is particularly different for Black women. Black women tend to face more stigma about accessing therapy or counselling.

If we are talking about black community, are black women more or less keen nowadays to go to a therapist?

Drawing from theories on intersectionality, the perception of the ‘strong black woman’ can be applied in this context: black women are less likely to seek counselling, compared to their white counterparts. If we touch on the oppression black women face from two main angles, we can potentially see the reasons for this. Firstly, black women are tasked with the majority of child rearing and domestic responsibilities due to their status as women. As black people, Black women are believed to be ‘stronger’ than the average white person (this is heavily rooted in colonial beliefs). Despite the prevalence of the ‘strong black woman’ narrative, more and more black women are rejecting this stereotype and seeking out support as, and when they need it. This is a slow process, but from what I have seen, more and more Black women are becoming more keen about seeking out therapy.

In your opinion, when will someone require or be followed up by a therapist ? And, how and where can someone search for a better therapist?

This really varies- being followed up by a therapist is and should be standard practice for anyone engaging in therapy. Even in ‘severe’ instances, where a service-user has expressed intent to harm themselves for example, the therapist in this instance would follow the proper safeguarding channels. Unfortunately, especially when working with adults, there is only so much a therapist can do to engage someone in therapy. Concerning on how and where to look, sometimes a quick google search is all you need to find a more suitable therapist, particularly if you are seeking private healthcare.

I often refrain from classifying therapists as good or bad… it’s more about chemistry. Sometimes you just don’t connect with the first therapist you see. They too will have their own worldview and philosophical beliefs, and these may not align with yours. If you were allocated a therapist via your healthcare provider, you should be able to request another therapist if you feel this is in your best interest.

Pros and cons of having therapy sessions via Skype, Zoom or any other online platform?

I want to start with the cons for this one. I think one of the cons of online sessions is simple… decreased social interaction. Sometimes leaving your house to see your therapist is just as helpful as therapy itself. Therapists are deliberate about creating a relaxing environment for their clients, and staying in your immediate environment often does not have the same effects. Additionally, technology is not yet infallible, there are still issues with connectivity at times. However, conducting online sessions means in theory, clients never have to miss their sessions (e.g. if they are on holiday). Online sessions also provide clients and therapists with a broader horizon and more options; therapists are able to help more people globally, and clients have more choices!

Do you think origins (Black/Africans, Asians, Native American Indian…), religion and other socio-cultural factors of a therapist can influence the efficacy of a therapy? If so, how?

Cultural sensitivity and understanding is important. Whilst psychology aims to be objective, we are all influenced by our life experiences, and therapists are no different. People who come from an ethnic minority background may find it easier to relate to a therapist who has a similar cultural background to them. This therapist could therefore bring a non-judgemental cultural understanding that does not have to be explained. When seeking therapy (as a minority) from a white therapist, there can be a fear that some of the cultural practices, norms and ideologies a client may discuss could be misunderstood and stigmatised. Sometimes it is just easier to partner with a therapist who has a shared cultural understanding and identity. Concerning religion, therapist should limit their opinions and beliefs and not ‘ project’ these into their clients. Unfortunately, sometimes the religiosity of a therapist can interfere with the efficacy of therapy. However, this can be positive and negative. Aforementioned, having a shared cultural understanding can really help a therapist to understand the expressed thoughts of a client to a greater extent. On the other hand, if the religiosity of a therapist interferes with their objectivity and leads to them sharing their own views and opinions (projecting) and becoming judgmental, this can of course make the therapy one receives less effective. For some people however, having an openly religious therapist can make them feel their needs are being met more effectively, and helps to build that rapport that is needed in an effective client-therapist relationship.

 Do you agree that women should be followed by a woman therapist? And do you think a black woman should be followed by a black woman therapist?

I can’t say that a women should have therapists who are women only, and likewise for black women; I can’t say black women must have therapists who are black women. However, it depends on what the individual is seeking from therapy and what they hope to gain. Building a trusting relationship with someone is underpinned by a variety of factors- cultural understanding being one of them. Some people may find it easier to discuss their trauma with people who look like them and understand their experiences because they have lived understanding, as opposed to having therapy with someone who understands only from reading what it is like to live as a woman or a black woman. I think Black women should seek therapy from whatever demographic would make them feel the most comfortable and understood.

One problem that women unfortunately still face is domestic and sexual abuse, especially during the lockdown, where women were forced to stay at home, everywhere reported increased cases and probably was underestimated. In your opinion, how does this affect women in their daily lives and psychologically, and what do women have to do and understand about domestic violence?

Domestic violence and sexual abuse are issues that affect so many women worldwide, so much so that often people normalise these experiences. The reality is everyone will be affected by these experiences in different ways and many different factors contribute to this. For example, how long a woman endured these forms of abuse for, how violent these experiences were (I don’t like to use the word ‘severe’ in this case because I don’t think you can compare these issues based on severity). Many times sexual abuse is non-violent, which can make people undermine the gravity of this type of trauma. In general, you often cannot be at your best psychologically when you are unable to live your life freely and have control over yourself. Both domestic violence and sexual abuse are characterised by domination. In both instances, women are being controlled and their person is being violated; their boundaries are being crossed and their autonomy is taken away. Having your autonomy stolen is incredibly difficult to overcome, particularly if it is a repeated occurrence. This can affect women’s ability to maintain friendships, work, care for their children and interact with strangers. PTSD, depression and anxiety are common effects of experiencing domestic violence and sexual abuse, and some people may become paranoid and defensive as a result of these experiences. Both domestic violence and sexual abuse are psychologically taxing and many people can find it hard to understand why women may remain in abusive relationships. Some (including women) find it difficult to come to terms with, and can lack empathy for people in these situations. Many women believe they could never end up in this situation, and can blame the victim for ‘ending up’ in a physically and sexually abusive relationship- I believe this can stem from a place of believed ‘superiority’ over women who are victims of abuse. The truth is any one of us could end up in such relationships, therefore judging another woman for her hardship is judgemental and unhelpful. There are two main things I would like for people to understand about domestic violence and sexual abuse: firstly, women fleeing domestic violence and sexual abuse are often at risk of being harmed as retaliation for them leaving (or attempting to). Secondly, domestic violence is predicated on control; the perpetrator often wields psychological control over the victim, and the process of gaining such control is gradual and subtle. The abuser begins to manipulate their partner (often emotionally), as a means of gaining control over them- by the time they have gained control, the victim (their partner) is often unaware and trapped. Physical harm and sexual abuse serves to reinforce this control and imbalance in power. Domestic violence and sexual abuse are serious issues and I hope society is able to get mobilise to tackle this issue and properly support and provide resources for women and children who are victims of abuse.

Definitely the coronavirus pandemic affected the general population mental health, forcing people to focus more on themselves and facing their problems and difficulties as human being. What has been your personal experience as a woman? Is there anything you wanted to see that has not been provided, concerning services offered?

I think in general I have seen more women expressing themselves and talking about their experiences and difficult/neglected topics more openly during the pandemic, which I think is incredible. However, I worry that the pandemic has been used as an excuse to claim there aren’t enough resources to support women’s issues, because of the pandemic, rather than because of politics and resource allocation. I also would have liked to see more healthcare available for women. For instance, there may be women who need to utilise sexual health services, particularly for women who have been raped and may be in need of a termination. These issues are often time sensitive and having no access to sexual health clinics for months during this time could have been devastating to some women.

From my personal experience, I am very happy these days talking and reading more about mental health, it has gained importance in many fields. How do you see the future of this topic?

I think it’s great we are entering an era that recognises how important mental health is. Our mental health really does underpin everything in our lives; how we function, relate to people, how we perform at work. I think in future this will only continue, and I see more legislation being introduced to create more provisions for people to care for their mental health. At the moment looking after your mental health is a ‘luxury’ in that, unless you have access to vast resources, taking the time needed to look after your mental health can be a challenge. This shouldn’t be the case, our mental health is central to our human rights and shouldn’t be something only the rich can afford access to.